January 12, 2008

Eat Meat, Be Human

Here's my theory:

If we all became vegetarians and lived off leafy greens, we would all become the most tasteless, docile, sedated creatures.

We would be tranquilized from the lack of evergizing meats- that is, the FLESH of other living things. There would be a definite decrease in aggression, ambition, passion, sex drive, and blotchy skin.

So here's how it came: I know most of our best theories about aliens come in relation to the cow: for example, that one about the aliens switching out their brains with the cows and invading middle America.

Well think again. My theory came from the fact that cows have a bacteria that exists in their stomachs that allow them to digest cellulose- the structural base of grass and most all plants. As humans, we can't break down the sugar of cellulose because we lack a particular enzyme. Cows however, possess a foreign bacteria that lives in their stomach and produces this grass-compatible enzyme. So if we humans were to house a bacteria in our little tummies that can break down the green grass of this earth... would we become entirely vegetarians?

I KNOW FOR A FACT KIDS THAT GOD DID NOT MEAN FOR US TO BECOME VEGETARIANS: as far as I know there is no known bacteria that humans can compatibly host to produce plant-digesting enzymes!

So maybe, yea, it's possible that if WE COULD EAT PLANTS LIKE EM COWS, we'll bald, put on black rimmed glasses, sip soy milk and much on greens plucked from our houseplants. We'll draw pictures of ourselves hugging disinterested animals (not even in the wrong way!) as we sport the latest bio-degradable shirts and capris. If this should happen, IF IT DARE HAPPEN humans would be tasteless, docile and in essence the "caretakers of the garden" rather than the "rockers of the world."

I'd rather be a ROCKER then an old-smelling, leaf munching, balding, picky "CARETAKER."

But what of this? What if we were to become leafy munchers and placed ourselves in strong competition with animals for our food source? (remember that a majority of animals ARE vegetarian)

Before it was so:

HUMANS eat ANIMALS and edible greens
ANIMALS eat PLANTS and edible greens and animals


HUMANS eat PLANTS and edible greens
ANIMALS eat PLANTS and edible greens and animals and docile stupid humans

ANIMALS start to go extinct because humans have no need for them. No food source (meat) = not important.

You can squeal all you want and say that we'd never let our precious furry friends go to the grave and we want to preserve them, but honestly, how much land do we keep for grazing ground? And how much of us actually care? And what about farming? Do we need to produce a harvest anymore? Not really. If we can just eat whatever's sprouting from the sidewalk, would we decrease our farms productions?

We might just go to the Home Depot, buy UV lights and install them by the bedroom for our potted plants (now food source) and multi use it for tanning.

We might have less wars, less fighting, less bickering, but i'm sure we'd began to lack in other areas, such as a healthy, ambition, love, compassion, care, and general "aliveness."

This meat thing makes us aggressive persons for our passions, whether it be terrorism, Star Wars memorabilia, or dog shows.

Let's take our burgers, one heaping bite at a time, leave out the bun if necessary to eat two patties instead!

Take a stance, be human, eat MEAT.

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