oh no! talking dog mania!!

ABS Nationals has me super pumped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Saturday I was working at REI when I got a call from Hunter around 4pm. There was apparently some sort of competition that he sounded super excited about and didn’t find out about until last minute. Long story short, I convinced my manager to let me off work a tad early so I could go to Alexandria, VA to see the ABS Nationals Comp. Do you want to know who was there???? Among others… Alex Puccio, Alex Johnson, Daniel Woods, Paul Robinson, Matt Bosley, other awesome climbers that I don’t know because I only know a few of them awesome climbers…
http://usaclimbing.net/abs/home.cfm
BAD ASS!!!! The comp was crowded, small, and extremely legit. So anyways, Alex Puccio crushed the women’s side, Alex Johnson for a close second. Alex Puccio crushed also on the women’s final problem which was an overhanging very dynamic v8++++??? problem. The problem was so clean looking. I have no idea how it flowed because I didn’t talk to any of the climber(s) that completed it- Alex… and Alex? (Since I also don’t know them. I did see Alex Puccio talking to some people after the comp, and Hutner nudged me, and was like why don’t you go talk to her… No way, though. I was too much in awe to simply see her climbing before my eyes. Besides, if I were to approach Alex Puccio, what would I say? Wow you are an awesome climber and and and and good job and and you are an insane inspiration and and ….) To the men’s- Daniel Woods CRUSHED the men’s side. I don’t know why Paul Robinson did so horribly that night. Something was obviously off because he is super super strong.
All of this sounded better in my head when I thought of all the excited things I wanted to remember about the comp. The gyst of it is I AM NOW SUPER PUMPED ABOUT ROCK CLIMBING!!!!! To witness some of the strongest climbers in the country competing right before my eyes just did something to me. Now I am super pumped about climbing. Climbing is awesome. Blah. So anyways, I have to give climbing an award. Climbing, I love you. I have never had a serious mate. But since I met you almost 2 years ago, I have been continually and exponentially hooked. Climbing thank you for being a stern but rewarding master, and for continually keeping my body from going blah. I could go on, but my key point is that I have never successfully stuck with any sort of hobby or sport in my life for more than a year. High school sports don’t really count. Why? Because I had no real interest or skill in them, I just did them. Anyways, climbing I love you. Mwa.
So in other news, I was so super pumped about climbing, that the next I skipped church (BAD) and went to the gym in Columbia. Granted, it’s fake rock. Granted, it’s indoors. Granted Columbia is soft. BUT I did on-sight a V6, a V5, sent another V6 in 3 tries, and 2 more V5’s. Which is pretty strong for me to do in 3 hours, since I tend to project V6’s. Anyways it was my first (indoors = lame!!!) gym V6 onsight and so I am super proud of myself. Go lily. The end. I am going to have to maintain an uber amount of self-control and not go to the gym today after my 9 hour shift of retail work since I only had 2 hours of sleep last night.
In other news LISA RANDS has joined the ranks with LYNN HILL into being my two favorite female badass buttkicking climbers. Lisa has been climbing since she was 17. She is turned 35 this year. So that means she will be soon hitting 18 years of badass awesome fun-crazy-hardcore-brave-mentally attuned awesome climbing!!! Go Lisa Rands!!!!

Douchebag Party Invite

One of my "friends" on Facebook is having a birthday party this month. In my inbox (I am not attending), but I still got this message:

Please be aware that a minor change has been made. I have gotten some STRIPPERS, (FEMALE)!!! Anyone under 18 will have to leave around 9:30pm. This girl will be topless and .... well you all get the picture. If you are offended by having a topless girl on you, don't bother showing up.

Please start to RSVP as soon as possible so I can get a head count. I am hosting a three day party for friends, coworkers, and family on different days. Anyone under the maybe will be counted as not going to show up.

If you are offended by meat, don't show up, if you hate guns don't step on my yard, if you hate asians don't step into my neighborhood!

Please be respectful of my townhouse, and please drink responsibly, if you do not know what you are about to drink ask someone what it is. If you are drunk, under no circumstances are you allowed to drive home, if you plan on getting drunk either plan on sleeping over or don't show up.

There will be a strip poker, don't like having fun, don't bother to show up, your a waste of time.

I invited you because either I like your personality or your company or because I respect you enough to have thought to invite you. Please do not bring you hoes, you niggas, you gang, your parents, your siblings, I WILL KILL THEM! (unless I know them, then they can stay for awhile)

GO CHINA!!!
-[name removed]

If you are my coworker, please show up to the nov. 21 party, better strippers will be there since it will be an all 21 year old or older crowd.


The biggest birthday party on the block!!! Some people cansleepover. Main meal will be provided consisting of asian food. please bring a dish tho. Please mark your name o your present so I can write a thank you letter.

Alcohol will be present A LOT OF IT, consisting of wine and beer.

If you cannot bring a food, bring beer or wine, I like sweet red or white wine, or guiness, don't bring the cheap stuff, go strong or go home, lol!

Please do not invite random people, people I actually know can come or past friends.

The first 25 people to request needing room and board will get it everyone else will have to leave around 1am sat morning

Presents - backpacking, rock climbing equipment, money, good wine, NO BEER, chinese food, asian chicks, lol

What a douchebag!!!!